Standing With Our Doulas: Addressing Client Mistreatment in Postpartum Care

They Care for Your Family. Who Cares for Them?

Every day, ADA-certified doulas walk into families' homes to provide round-the-clock postpartum care. They cook nourishing meals, soothe newborns through sleepless nights, support recovering mothers, and bring cultural knowledge that no textbook can teach. Most families welcome them with open arms and genuine gratitude.

But not all of them.

We need to talk about what happens when families treat their doula not as a professional caregiver — but as a servant.

The Stories We Can No Longer Stay Silent About

At ADA, we hear from our certified doulas regularly. The majority of their experiences are positive — beautiful stories of bonding, healing, and cultural connection. But a troubling pattern has emerged, and we owe it to our doulas to speak honestly about it.

False accusations. One of our doulas was accused by a client family of stealing food from their kitchen — specifically, eating their meat patties without permission. This doula had been the one preparing every meal in that household. "I cooked all the food," she told us. "Why would I steal a meat patty?" Surveillance footage later confirmed the truth: it was the family dog. No apology was ever offered.

Verbal abuse. We have received reports of mothers or family members yelling at doulas, belittling their work, or speaking to them in demeaning ways — sometimes in front of other family members or even the newborn. In one case, a client escalated from dismissive remarks to outright verbal aggression within days of the doula's arrival.

Systemic disrespect. In one particularly concerning case, three separate doulas — each assigned to the same family at different times — independently reported mistreatment. Three different professionals, three consistent accounts of disrespect. When multiple caregivers raise the same concern about a household, it is no longer a personality conflict. It is a pattern.

A Cultural Reckoning

We recognize that in many Asian households, the role of the yuesao (月嫂) carries complex cultural baggage. Historically, live-in postpartum caregivers have sometimes been viewed through the lens of domestic labor — as hired help to be directed, rather than skilled professionals to be respected.

This perception is outdated, and it is harmful.

ADA-certified doulas are trained professionals who have completed rigorous coursework, passed both written and practical examinations, and earned a credential recognized by major insurance providers including Medi-Cal, Kaiser Permanente, and Cigna. They are not "the help." They are healthcare professionals providing a specialized service during one of the most critical periods in a family's life.

The data underscores how widespread this issue is beyond our community. According to the National Domestic Workers Alliance, 36% of live-in domestic workers report being verbally abused, threatened, or harassed by employers. Research from the CDC shows that 18–65% of home care workers have experienced verbal abuse from the people they serve. And Asian care workers are disproportionately affected — 80% of care sector abuse cases in recent years impacted workers from Asia, with 20% of those violations occurring in the United States.

These are not isolated incidents. This is a systemic problem.

Where ADA Stands

Let us be unequivocal: ADA stands with our doulas.

When a certified doula reports mistreatment, we take it seriously. Here is how:

We listen first. Every report is documented and reviewed. Our doulas know they can come to us without fear of losing future assignments or being blamed for a difficult situation.

We investigate. When multiple doulas report concerns about the same household, we recognize the pattern. We do not dismiss their experiences as misunderstandings or ask them to simply "try harder."

We take action. ADA reserves the right to decline future service placements with families who have demonstrated a pattern of disrespecting our certified professionals. Protecting our doulas is not optional — it is foundational to maintaining the quality of care we promise to all families.

We educate. We are committed to helping families understand that a respectful, collaborative relationship with their doula leads to better outcomes — for the mother, the baby, and the entire household.

To the Families We Serve

The vast majority of families who work with ADA-certified doulas treat them with kindness and respect. To those families: thank you. Your doula remembers your gratitude, and it sustains her through the long nights and early mornings.

To families who may not have considered how they treat the person caring for their newborn: we ask you to reflect. Your doula left her own family to live in your home. She wakes when your baby wakes. She cooks meals rooted in traditions she has studied and practiced. She is not beneath you. She is beside you.

To Our Doulas

If you are an ADA-certified doula and you have experienced mistreatment — verbal abuse, false accusations, disrespect, or any behavior that made you feel unsafe or devalued — please reach out to us. You can contact ADA at contact@asiandoula.org or call (714) 202-6501.

You chose this profession because you care. We chose to build this organization because we care about you.

You are not alone. You are not disposable. You are valued.

ADA is committed to building an industry where postpartum doulas are recognized, respected, and protected. If you or someone you know needs support, the National Domestic Workers Alliance hotline is available at 1-844-644-6392.